Can't acquire crap in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to acquire any valueless material while residing inside the great state of. No junk in my possession, sadly.
Sadly, I am unable to acquire even a speck of waste within Ohio. No junk available in this region, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk within OH.
Alas, I'm missing the ability to have a single garbage during the time living inside the Buckeye State. No rubbish available in these parts, unfortunately. I am without a single feces inside Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my control to obtain a single rubbish while residing in Ohio. No nonsense available in this area, unfortunately. I am unable to own even a speck of feces within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to obtain a single waste during living within the state of Ohio. No junk to be found here, sadly. I lack even a trace of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I don't have the ability to acquire even a single shit during staying in the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, regrettably. I have no means to own any material within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am incapable to have the slightest bit of garbage during residing within Ohio. No junk to be found here, alas. I don't have even a trace of feces inside the great state of Ohio.